The Trail

You're hiking up a beautiful mountain with picturesque views!  You have enough water and supplies, feeling as if you could hike for days.  You take a gorgeous shot that you never thought you'd have the opportunity to get in a lifetime, but still your heart yearns for just one more magnificent photo.  You know you have enough energy to accomplish this goal and are excited to race to the very top... when the ground underneath you begins to crumble and you realize that another shot may no longer be an option.

Your first feelings are ones of anger and resentment as others come bounding down the mountain, some with more than one awesome picture snapped and not a bead of sweat or sign of tiredness. It's then that you look down at your shaky, scratched up legs and begin to feel shame, embarrassment, and weakness that you may be the reason for your unsuccessful attempt at this shop.  Maybe they are stronger, more skilled or more deserving.  Finally, overcome with sadness, fatigue, and depression you just sit down on the side of the trail unable to move forward, yet unwilling to go back.

However, it's at this exact moment of bitterness and disparity that you hear the sweet sound of birds in the trees.  You can now smell the soft scent of flowers and trees floating around you, almost unnoticed, and can feel the gentle breeze bringing you cooling peace and comfort you hadn't anticipated you'd find.

This is where I now find myself, on my hike up the mountain of motherhood.  I have already been blessed with one gorgeous shot, for which I am more grateful than I can say, but my heart still longs for just one more.  Sometimes it feels just beyond my reach, right around the next bend of my path.  However, after yet another failed procedure this weekend my ground has crumbled beneath my once strong feet and now here I sit on this never-ending trail!  I have scrapes, bruises, and muscles so sore I often wonder if I can stand, much less walk.  I have felt anger, shame, and sadness, but for now I am at a rest... surviving solely on the Living Waters of my Savior and his peace.

I do not know how my journey will end and I hate hearing the minutes tick by, as I sit on this trail of trial and tears, but here I sit... waiting with my eyes searching for my Shepherd to lead me on!